@mean_crow: hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-
@natedog2049: Serial killers start their day by eating breakfast at McDonalds. Let me rephrase. They arent serial killers until they order & have to wait.
@SilentIstheJ: You're like the menstrual cramp and bloating of people.
@iAmDelFreaky: I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.
@ojedge: Siri, fight Alexa.
@The_MartiniGirl: I am not that kind of woman...I"m much worse.