@mean_crow: hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-
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@johndashgreen: Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending.
@RickAaron: I made an appointment for laser hair removal then remembered that I don't have any laser hair.
@Sassafrantz: Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame.
@RunwayDan: You won't believe this, kids, but TV used to end. Every day. They played the national anthem, and then it just...stopped. Scary, huh?