@mean_crow: hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-
@SirEviscerate: The Chopped contestants open their ingredients box, each finding the head of a loved one. Two scream, the third is thinking "bourbon glaze".
@michaelianblack: Happy Fourth of July. May your emails be gathered and your drones fly forever free!
@SamGrittner: Baller is short for ballerina
@PJTLynch: Vacation Bible School is a phrase that gets less exciting for kids as each word is introduced
@Rollinintheseat: Why is Iron Man's arch nemesis not Wrinkle Man?