@jwoodham: Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don't tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?
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@Cryptic1iam: Me: I've read the Bible cover to cover Her: Yeah? Prove it. M: How? H: What is the first sentence in it? M: "Do not remove from motel"
@FlyoverJoel: Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.
@allthatisbecca: I knew I was in trouble when the lady doing my nails shouted "WHO DO YOUR EYEBROW?!"