@JB1971_: Everyone at my funeral gets a baseball bat, the last one standing gets all my stuff.
@bornmiserable: "This race is over," said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president.
@shutupmikeginn: Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school.
@omgthatspunny: It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.
@ihuffpaint: what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun
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