@House_Feminist: Hey girl are you a new high efficiency dishwasher because you're so quiet it's hard to tell if you're turned on
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@batkaren: Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto.
@d_duhwit: Scientist: Your bear/owl hybrid has escaped. Me: Dont worry. I put a gps collar on it Scientest: So u can.. Me: Track my bowl movements, yes