@tsm560: Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why.
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@KarenLyneButler: I want Rebecca Black to make a music video for every day of the week! Said by nobody. Ever.
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*
@KalvinMacleod: Wife: This milk is 30 seconds past due, time to throw it out. Me: This milk is lumpy. I need a fork.
@VodkaThursday: First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it.