@ImFordTough: hey girl are you my ceiling fan because i'm pretty hot but also too lazy to get up and turn you on
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@HpHubert: Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
@david8hughes: [cat shelter] Me: so u don't test for it but u say none of them have it? Owner: we've never come across a cat with martial arts training, no