@internetluke: Hey girl are you soy sauce because you always "no MSG" me back
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@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.
@ParentNormal: I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.
@internetluke: A modern recasting of Moses floating down a river in a wicker basket but it's a soccer mom forgetting her baby on the roof of her van.