@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell
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@omgthatspunny: My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology.
@4ndBest: Girl dog: I'm into bad boys Guy dog: [remembering his owner saying how much of a good boy he is] ..oh
@KenJennings: Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you're fooling?