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@novicefather: Hey girl, how 'bout some head?
- Henry VIII
@TomTheWicked: If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter.
@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.
@Smooheed: All I want is for someone to push me up against a wall
And whisper 'I'll do your housework'
@MartaEffing: Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls.
AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup.
@feminismvibes: This is everything