@Lowenaffchen: Hey girl.. you ready to [loudly toward the door] TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL *roommate sends in R/C truck with a bunch of condoms taped to it*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@StellaRtwot: If an interviewer asks you: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" say "I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"
@gruffybeard: 9: Daddy, wanna hear something cool? Me: Sure! 9: *tells story* Me: Ok, well clearly we need to work on how you define "something cool".
@oxygenplug: [at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here
@stephenjmolloy: Mugger: "Hand over your stuff! No funny business!" *I give him my wallet and phone but not my business proposal to open a clown college*