@Lowenaffchen: Hey girl.. you ready to [loudly toward the door] TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL *roommate sends in R/C truck with a bunch of condoms taped to it*
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@GibJimson: The new guy at work has been getting a lot of customer complaints lately. Probably because I wear his name tag when he's not there.
@caliluvgirl77: I can't have a boyfriend because my clean laundry goes on the other side of my bed.
@thenatewolf: Me: goodnight kids Kids: goodnight dad Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT