@YourFavMexi_Can: Hey girl, you smell like you're going to give me the wrong number.
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@BuckyIsotope: Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas.
@jiggynye: My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
@Audenary: DUMBLEDORE: Who's brought evil into Hogwarts? HARRY: I think it's Malfoy, professor! DARK MYSTERIOUS NEW TEACHER: Oh come on
@hippieswordfish: wife: im sick of him jeopardizing our marriage therapist: how do you respond to that kyle? me: ill take susan is being a huge baby for $600