@YourFavMexi_Can: Hey girl, you smell like you're going to give me the wrong number.
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@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.
@215potter: Guy threw a banana peel out the window into my lane 2day. Yrs of practice paid off and I arrived to work safely. Thank you Mario Kart.
@NYC_Blonde: Why do grocery stores double-bag everything? Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong?
@NickMcNevich: Stalker? Me? Nooooo. But you should call your mom, she left you a message yesterday while you were sleeping. I muted it so you could rest