@MikeHeraly: Hey "greatest generation" why is every thrift store filled with ceramic clowns
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_mindflakes: (boom boom clap) (boom boom clap) Daisy you're a dog you're a good dog Playing in the park Gonna eat some cool bugs today
@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.
@TheDailySchmuck: Accidentally pressed the soap dispenser instead of the toothpaste. Mouth feels clean but I don't think I'll be able to curse today. Shucks.
@TEXASVETERAN: If I get married, I'd take my wife to a deserted island on our honeymoon. On our 15th anniversary, I'd return to pick her up. Maybe.