@MikeHeraly: Hey "greatest generation" why is every thrift store filled with ceramic clowns
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@nachdermas: ME: what's an owl's favorite band DATE: what ME: the Byrds lmao DATE: ... wait why wouldn't it be the Who ME: DATE: ME: i like you, charlotte. this was nice. but i think i'd like to go home now.
@Phook75: If I were to walk 500 miles and walk 500 more I'd be the man to die from cardiac arrest right at your door
@StevieKnip: [accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]