@MikeHeraly: Hey "greatest generation" why is every thrift store filled with ceramic clowns
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@robdelaney: Steve Jobs' entire legacy is invalidated by the shortness of the iPhone charger's cord.
@UncleDuke1969: Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once.
@Sassafrantz: Me: [opens front facing camera at a funeral and starts crying] "he must've meant a lot to her."
@dafloydsta: [trying to get a massage] How much for a happy ending? "Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending?