@daemonic3: "Hey! Guess what just popped in my head?!?" -- My dying words if I had an aneurysm
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@MUMSIEesq: [Parent-Teacher Conference] Teacher: ..if another kid is mean to her, she calmly walks away Me: *flips table* WHICH KID IS MEAN TO HER?!?!
@TheHyyyype: *aliens come to earth to steal our water* [cut to] *aliens running out of store with like fifteen evian bottles they didn't pay for*
@behindyourback: I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense
@PanicRestroom: Always stand up for what you believe in, unless what you believe in is sitting down.