@daemonic3: "Hey! Guess what just popped in my head?!?" -- My dying words if I had an aneurysm
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you.
@ericsshadow: [helping a pretty girl change a flat tire] me struggling to loosen lug nuts: Who put these on... Superman? her: I did
@AnkCoupleTO: Husband: *buys her flowers* Wife: No H: *buys her jewellery* W: No H: *starts extreme couponing* W: *gives him all the sex*
@CockSnake: Girlfriend: "I'm pregnant" Me: "Really? Thats great." GF: "April Fo--" *I'm already on a plane to a non extradition country*