@1BigMick: Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you.
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@TheMichaelRock: Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News
@SteveSackington: If your mother in law and your father in law were both engulfed in flames, and you only had one fire extinguisher, where would you hide it?
@NoticablyBacon: The most confusing thing about living with a girl is how much hair they shed. How does her hair look so good? How isnt she bald?
@Dutch_50: Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Me: Labels are for soup cans Survey: Can you tell us which way you're leaning? Me: Clam chowder