@missekay: Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad? Good times.
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@geowizzacist: Me: can I start calling him 3.5 yet? Wife: do you even know his name anymore? Me: yes wife of course I know his name.
@BuckyIsotope: Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer
@krisv_723: The only thing between me & a killing spree is the fact that I'd have to poop in front of people in prison.
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to "please pull up to the window."