@JennyJohnsonHi5: Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her.
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@markleggett: Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.
@UNTRESOR: [gets on Facebook] [types "you pushed me away but expected me to stay"] [everyone nods, this is considered extremely good shit on there]
@robotrowboat: Starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
@futurecreaturre: if i die on a hill it's gonna be the bottom of that hill. i'm not climbing up a hill to die