@shannon2703: Hey guys wanna watch a girl feel herself up? Hide her cell phone.
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@UncleDuke1969: Parent/Child conversation tweets are always so cute & sweet! Thought I'd try one: 18: Can I borrow the car? Me: No Wasn't that adorable?!
@Easy_Tiger__: People who take things literally on twitter, stop. Wait. First take this tweet literally, then stop.
@Kyle_Lippert: Give a man a fish & he'll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That's weird" Teach a man to fish & he'll be all "Again with the fish?"