@wesleybordelon: Hey guys, what's the name of that movie where Michael Cera plays a socially awkward teenager?
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@mishakey: I just had 'the talk' with my kid. You know, the one where you break the news that Batman isn't real.
@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you. Your life flashes before your eyes: crappy jobs, breakups, Ren fairs. The werewolf gets depressed and goes home.
@Marlebean: Kid: What's this? Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin? M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch? M: ...