@_ElvishPresley_: My friends describe me as "I'm sorry, he's not usually like this."

@NoFlipFlops: Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn't remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled.

@JaneBadall: I've set my hair on fire lighting a cigarette before, so I'm always impressed when the movie-hero walks away from an explosion unharmed.

@HeSlimedMeRay: My son just complained about how far the guy in his video game has to walk. We take our lazy seriously around here.

@Probgoblin: I run down a hospital corridor, clutching the mustard dispenser I liberated from the cafeteria. Earlier I had a plan. Now I have mustard.