@StymieBrewer: Hey, hey...calm down please. Stop crying. I think all babies are ugly, not just yours.
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@jjhartinger: I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, "thank you baby jesus" and left.
@JohnLyonTweets: Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
@jakob_huber: "What's your greatest strength?" Shadow puppetry "Seriously?" [interviewer presses intercom button] "Pat, please bring a flashlight in here"