@SharkJelly: "Hey honey"
*drags a cigarette*
"have you ever"
*drinks some scotch*
"slept with a guy"
*sucks a lollipop*
"with three arms?"
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@freedom2726: I whispered to the wind, and the wind told me to shut up.
@Stella1070: I've wrecked my car yet I still weigh the same. This crash diet is for the birds.
@Sickayduh: Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok
@Annekinns: Have you tried locking him in your trunk?
@werehedgehog: *yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*
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