@audipenny: Hey I got your text but then I died, I'll probably like resurrect when we accidentally run into each other though
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@kjmeow: "FOR SALE: blender, like new. Does NOT make things taste like crayons ALSO FOR SALE: wax fruit, slightly scratched."
@Jade_VK: Brenda from work unfollowed me on here so now I have to follow her around the office all day reading my tweets like a news broadcaster
@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.
@WildeThingy: Gabriel "Really? That's how you want humans to reproduce?" God "Trust me. It will be hilarious."