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@meganamram: the sequel to "Up" should be called "Up 2: No Good" who do I tell this to
@iwearaonesie: mom: no TV for a week!
dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub
*sons jaw drops*
mom: [whispers] nice
@dave_cactus: [first night in hell]
This isn't so bad, really. I expected worse.
[6 AM, waking up to every neighbor mowing their lawn]
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
@ElleOhHell: Haley: Hey how's it going
Hayleigh: I'm beighsicalleigh okeigh
@DirtMcTurd: I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.