@yaseen_moi: Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mexinonblonde: I have recently learned that it is considered poor form to sit on Santa's lap and ask to be made a widow for Christmas... The more you know.
@KentWGraham: I’m starting to think my wife is only having sex with me to improve her FitBit stats.
@JasonLastname: Once a marine, always a marine. Even if you're now working at Subway. You're a submarine.
@LifesGoodThing: My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.