@yaseen_moi: Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
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@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.
@AbrasiveGhost: [at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom
@jazmasta: *i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* "Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.." *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*
@GrowlyGrego: [at Eminem show] Cuz I am / whatever you say I am / [from crowd] "Ur a pony! Ur a tablecloth!" The shapeshifting continues for hours.