@nachosarah: hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MUMSIEesq: [3AM] FRIEND *opens front door* What now?! ME: Are you sure you don't think I'm too needy?
@rachelle_mandik: "moon all gone! moon all gone!" is my toddler's terrifying new way of saying good morning
@better_off_dad: Pro Tip: If you stab yourself in the thigh with your pen you get to leave the meeting.
@DraggingFeeties: I'm just your average mom, trying to convince my kids that 4:45pm is indeed their bedtime, because I've had enough of their shit for one day