@nachosarah: hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected
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@dumbbeezie: Fun fact: they used acronyms back in colonial times too but DOS meant Dead of Smallpox and LMFAO meant Lost My Farm and Outbuildings
@Parkerlawyer: I wondered why my back was so sore until I saw my son jumping rope on a crack in the sidewalk.
@jazmasta: Dear iPhone, I have typed "haha" like a million times, but yet you continually give me "haga", "hsha", "gaga", "hahss", "hahs" I hate you
@XLToast: No son, you can't go out with your friends. Tonight we're installing Windows Updates, as a family.