@FilthyRichmond: Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)
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@LookAwayMomDad: I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status.
@pickupIines: do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydropower because dam
@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.
@tastefactory: Assistant: Uh sir? Your personalized jean jacket is very cool but it looks like the store screwed up. It says STAN on the back. Satan: WHAT