@FilthyRichmond: Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)
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@Sal0630: Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]
@garrydavenport: Watson: "Holmes, why are you wrapped in a thin aluminium sheet?" Holmes: "DAMMIT, FOILED AGAIN!"
@slyoung5: A smile every mile will get you further faster but if that doesn't work, carjacking does.
@iGreenMonk: 1)Print out a "WANTED" poster with your face on it. 2)Dress as a cop. 3)Go around asking people if they've seen this person.