@FilthyRichmond: Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)
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@stephenjmolloy: [Spelling bee] Judge: "Your word is unhelpful." Kid: "Can you use it in a sentence please?" Judge: "Nope."
@pattymo: AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series
@LoveNLunchmeat: Quick question: How many bowls of mac and cheese can you eat during a Skype job interview before you look unprofessional?
@DurtMcHurtt: *attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever