@duplicitron: Hey lady I have bad news for you someone thought your hair was noodles and left their chopsticks in it.
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@suzieQ0007: My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands.
@LostCatDog: If you want to relate to how old people probably feel just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and everybody else acted like that was fine.
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman