@duplicitron: Hey lady I have bad news for you someone thought your hair was noodles and left their chopsticks in it.
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@brendohare: I wear a 3-piece suit to bed in case someone breaks in & we have nothing to talk about. "Did you notice I'm wearing a suit?" "Yes"
@jergarl: My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch.