@just1fool: Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!
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@LindaInDisguise: How to eat French fries: 1) Eat all the good ones. 2) Leave the yucky ones and feel superior. 3) Wait 5 minutes. 4) Eat all the yucky ones.
@Try2StopME: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.
@DuckhouseMedia: boss: trouble at home? me: [jumps awake at my desk] yeah boss: wife giving you grief? me: there's a bee in my kitchen