@bea_ker: Hey man, settle an argument for me?
[handing him a sword] Great, he's just in there
@MasonCrossBooks: My daughter actually submitted this feedback at school. Not sure if I should ground her or buy her ice cream...
@AZHORSEMOM77: Nothing shows more confidence in humanity that a mom with 4 kids in a drive through not checking the order before she pulls away
@SufficientCharm: A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn't eat.
@hoedeehoe: Jesus: and when there was but 1 set of footprints, there I carried u
Me: (checks fitbit) ok, phew, it counted the steps, I still got credit
@JermHimselfish: Do you think Lil' Wayne went to the tattoo parlor and said "Make my face look like an 8th grade girls trapper keeper"?