@bea_ker: Hey man, settle an argument for me?
[handing him a sword] Great, he's just in there
@handokotjung: How to be happier:
2. Lift weight
3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy.
@bingowings14: 'I'm really excited about the Pixar cowboy figure I got for my birthday.'
'Not quite that excited.'
@david8hughes: Wife: can u unstack the dishwasher?
Me opening dishwasher, taking out large knife & cutting my hand off: I can't, there's been an accident.
@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: We must find Luke Skywalker
General Hux: Why? He won't fight & you don't need training.
Kylo: He might have cool Vader souvenirs
@kumailn: Just ate a glazed donut flavored protein bar. It tasted like someone describing a donut to me while I shove sawdust into my mouth.