@jonnysun: hey maybe ur parents care so much about ur birthday becuase it celebrates how long theyve been able to keep something alive for
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@ArfMeasures: SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw* CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!
@colegamble: The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, "Living the dream" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys.