@JuliaEveHays: Hey, Morgan Freeman. Donating $1M to Obama's campaign isn't going to make him get older faster so you can play him in the movie.
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@davedittell: the boss hands me a gun, "you know what to do." I nod. outside, I frantically google: boss gun why how to kill is killing ok regift gun ok
@Mi_SSbehaved: My son touched my leg & said "so soft!" Then he asked for his IPad back & I gave it to him. Girls aren't exactly rocket science, guys.
@GashleyMadison: It's like my nana always said, "If you choose your friends wisely, you'll never have good drugs."