@Cheeseboy22: Hey morons, when in doubt, just spell it "theiyr're."
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@XplodingUnicorn: The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people.
@beefman138: 3 : Daddy, can we watch Frozen? Me : Sorry, darling. We can't watch Frozen in the summer because all the characters will melt.
@UncleDuke1969: [doorbell] "Hi, do you have time to discuss the Bible?" "You have cookies?" "No, sir I-" "Come back when you have cookies." *closes door*
@1Happytwit: Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it.