@freedom2726: Hey! My husband wanted me to let you guys know he calls me his "wined up" toy.
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@ruinedpicnic: (climbing out of my coffin) I'm sure you all have a lot of questions, but firstly the reason I faked my death is- [nobody is at my funeral]
@TheBeerGuy73: Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law.
@pixelatedboat: Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours
@truegritrumble: (People Touring My House 50 Years After I Die) TOUR GUIDE: And over here we found a second secret room ALSO full of bacon.