@glittergirlD43: Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
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@RocketRankoon: What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news? Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny
@Marcmywords2: Tequila doesn't make me drunk and disorderly, it just seems that way, cuz Police Reports are all written by cops.
@Joe_Schmuck: "I'll Knock You Into Next Week" have black mothers invented time travel? Details at 11. #ABCReports
@SortaBad: College: Now that you're making tons of money with your degree, please donate back to us every year Me: lol College: lol ikr?