@JennyJohnsonHi5: Hey old couples. Email addresses are free. You can each have your own. Wait... Just gave that more thought. Forget it. Keep sharing.
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@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"
@TheRealRHB: I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory
@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.
@my_minivan_life: Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent. I would have to say it’s the kids.