@tastefactory: Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*
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@briangaar: If I'm murdered, I hope I'm able to write out the killer's name in blood and then "sucks" underneath
@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
@pleatedjeans: Instead of yelling "Hello?" when u think a murderer's in your home, say "Goodbye" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving