@jenstatsky: Hey, pens at the bank: cool it with the chains. You are literally last on my list of things I'd like to steal from a bank.
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@underchilde: As a father, I would refuse to give my daughter away at her wedding on the grounds that I would have to be there.
@laurajennyjo: Apparently trapping people in an elevator overnight (even if you have marsh mellows) not a good way to make friends, people are so sensitive
@jergarl: 8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight? Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom.