@ambamthankyamam: Hey people that twitter says are "similar to me", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!
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@GrantTanaka: "Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"
@fanofhell: Cop: show us where the hamburgers are, hamburglar Hamburglar: you've got the wrong guy. I steal ham. You're thinking of hamburgerburglar