@Adam14: Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?
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@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: After many years I've realized I'm allergic to beer. It causes me to break out in places. Places I have no idea how to get home from.
@robotmouthfarts: Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]
@Mikecanrant: So carrying a "wet floor" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard.