@korryduke: Hey people with one syllable names...... Good job ruining the Happy Birthday song. Jerks
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@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.
@stacywawa1: The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?
@ArfMeasures: ME: *hands my boss my first crime scene photos* BOSS: *hands them back* do them again without the Snapchat filters
@causticbob: My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening.