@VerifiedJayy: Hey plastic surgeons, breast implants with squeaker toys in em. Get on that
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@huntigula: if I accidentally respond "you too" after a fast-food clerk tells me to enjoy my meal, I shove some fries in their mouth so it isn't awkward
@DevinSiebold: Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez... the same week Black Ops 2 comes out? Good call Justin.
@WilliamRodgers: Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How? Dr: It just does Me: What just does? Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How?