@VerifiedJayy: Hey plastic surgeons, breast implants with squeaker toys in em. Get on that
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@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.
@XplodingUnicorn: My wife says I'm wasting my time on Twitter. She doesn't understand the meaningful interactions I have with people.