@VerifiedJayy: Hey plastic surgeons, breast implants with squeaker toys in em. Get on that
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@Kauaibride: so apparently there is no such thing as a valentine santa and i'm not sure whose lap i just sat on at the mall.
@EricaLynnz: If you're driving a getaway car just remember the best way to lose the cops is to ship them via the post office
@what_a_messs: Babe, can u vacuum a Chess board into the carpet again? the guys r here for a lifesize game *guys standing around in armor & kings outfits*
@DustinSiskey: One time my 4yr old got so mad at my wife he yelled, "YOU'RE RABBIT FROM WINNIE THE POOH!" Best.Insult.Ever.