@Goofpoops: Hey!! pssst! Guys who wear camo to bars: There is a reason you're not getting laid...it's because the women can't see you..
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@13spencer: I just found out that "Birdman" has nothing to do with Hawkeye, and now I want to see it.
@SternoShots: Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?
@Fickle_Filly: Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, "Wow. You've aged badly..."