@Thedudish: Hey, remember me from last night? You gave me the wrong number but I found you on Facebook. I'm on your porch. Can I come in?
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@JasonLastname: Password insecurity questions: 1. What was your highschool nickname? 2. How would you describe your breath? 3. What's wrong with your toes?
@fro_vo: Nature Fact: baby bears are born with fur because a mother bear can't bear to bear a bare bear
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Wife: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?
@STEELERS1972: So I met this hooker who said she'd do anything for ten bucks . Guess who got his yard cut?