@jonnysun: hey sory i just saw this mesage u sent last month even tho all my notifications make sounds and my phone is in my hand even when im sleeping
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats
@thetigersez: Sometimes I think I should try to be a better person, but then I remember I'm good-looking, so I'm, like, nah.
@Shock_Monster: Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat.
@JasonLastname: Accidentally pronounced wifi as "wifey" and the hotel concierge said the password's helping out around the house and being a good listener.