@jonnysun: hey sory i just saw this mesage u sent last month even tho all my notifications make sounds and my phone is in my hand even when im sleeping
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@LizHackett: My husband walked into the kitchen and asked, "What's burning?" I told him, "The world. But what you smell is the chicken."
@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE
@TheMichaelRock: Me: We didn't even have cell phones or the internet when I was your age. 6yo: Did you have bikes? Me....nope, we rode horses. 6yo: WOOOOW
@causticbob: Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro's grave.. Must be a communist plot.