@Nickadoo: Hey Starbucks. If you gotta name your drinks with stupid language, don't roll your eyes when I order a gitchy gitchy yaya mocha choca latte.
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@natechartier1: Judge: I find him... not guilty *Tom Brady breathes a sigh of relief* Cop: *cuffing him* So that's where the air was, huh? We finally gotcha
@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient.
@maxpalumbo5: When my youngest brother was little he was being bullied and went to my parents for help. They told him “Sticks and stones may break my bones” they then asked him to finish the phrase and he said “but chains and whips excite me” he seriously thought that was he second part.