@jwoodham: Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]
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@FlashyPenguin: [on death row] "what would you like for your last meal?" "A McRib" "McRib doesnt come back for 6 more mont...oooh well played!"
@iamburtjarvis: HOW TO SURVIVE A BEAR ATTACK: STEP 1: buy a recliner STEP 2: buy some beer STEP 3: stay home and watch tv instead of going into the woods