@KenJennings: Hey suns wearing sunglasses: that's not going to help, stupid. Think about it.
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@armyVet1972: Big shoutout to the Red Robin waitress who checked my ID and immediately ruined the moment by saying, "Wow you're, like, older than my dad!"
@pizza_dragon: "I'm so pissed I could punch a ba-" "A what?" Big Baby from Toy Story 3 hovers over me, sawed-off shotgun in hand. "A bagel. I HATE carbs."