@KenJennings: Hey suns wearing sunglasses: that's not going to help, stupid. Think about it.
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@daemonic3: My family can't decide what kind of Lab to get (Chocolate, Yellow, Black, etc.) so we drew straws. I won, so we're getting a Meth.
@0hJuliette: Whenever a girl is talking too much, remind yourself that other thing she does with her mouth that you like so much. Might dull the pain ;)
@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don’t care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test
@sumpeoplelikeit: I wish people were more like dogs and you could just give them those three little pats and they'd know our interaction was over.