@Jennco_W: Hey tampon makers, can I get a silent tampon wrapper please? Sounds like I'm opening a bag of Sun Chips up in here.
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@AristotlesNZ: Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough.
@dafloydsta: HER: I'm leaving you ME: But why? HER: There's just no chemistry between us anymore CHEMISTRY: Wow, I'm like right here
@causticbob: It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it.