@TheFearBoners: Hey Texas, in Florida it's legal to abort other people's kids up to 17 years.
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@Brampersandon_: [chiropractor] Dr., your client Tony is here -Tony? The guy whose skin is made of bubble wrap Yes -Oh hell yes clear the rest of my schedule
@robfee: I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs.
@Mr_Kapowski: 7 y/o daughter: Dad, do trees poop? Me: Of course! 7 y/o: Really? Me: Why do you think they call them "Number 2" pencils?