@TheFearBoners: Hey Texas, in Florida it's legal to abort other people's kids up to 17 years.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@chuuew: ME: I want a koi swimming downstream TATTOO ARTIST: Ah yes. That's very symbolic. You must be very spiritual? ME: Ya ha. Also, put a pop-tart in its mouth
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms.
@bobinhiding: Look kid, its not "passing out" if I have a blanket over me. Now be a dear and turn off the kitchen lights.