@NicCageMatch: Hey, the 1700's called, they said please invent telephones.
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@mynameisntdave: ME: how long will it take to remodel my house? CONTRACTOR: only about 2 months [9 years later] CONTRACTOR: ok so we've installed 1 stair
@robfee: If you plug in a USB cord correctly on the first try, you shouldn’t have to pay taxes for a year.
@thepunningman: Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports